Currently Thinking | Vol. 1

I was like asking myself this morning if there would be other things I can do. It might be in my current work or could be for the future. “Ano kaya mangyayari bukas? Sa makalawa? Sa mga susunod na araw, linggo, buwan?”

I got tired for today as I had to finish all the tasks assigned to me at work for some discussion purposes. But after work, I went straight home. 

“Gusto ko na po makauwi at makapagpahinga.”

While I was walking on my way home, I was thinking of the past. I was reminiscing for those days when life was so easy. Kapag bata kasi tayo wala tayong ibang iniisip kundi ang maglaro sa loob o labas ng bahay, manood ng mga palabas sa tv tulad ng paborito kong Heidi, Cedie, Princess Sarah, mag-aral ng history o di naman kaya values o kaya naman math and science, kumain ng mga chichiriang tig-pipiso, kumanta at sumayaw, at marami pang iba. I missed it.

Then, I just remember that there were times that I was being trained to sing. I cannot remember how old am I that time. Those days that I keep on rehearsing every day for a song that I will sing in a contest. Kausuhan ng mga kanta nila Celine Dion and Mariah Carey noon, at ang paborito kong kantahin ay yung kay Celine Dion. Hindi ko nga maisip ngayon kung papaano ko naabot yon dati. Hahahaha. Okay sige. Kwento ko na…

It was early in the morning, my aunt woke me up and said “practice na tayo. Bangon ka na.” I will sing right after drinking one glass of warm water but without doing anything like washing my face, or even brush my teeth. Hindi naman strict ang tita ko, pero sabi niya yun daw yung right way for me para mahasa yung boses ko.

And then, I started to sing…

“Every night in my dreams… I see you… I feel you…”

With my cousins (Micky & Marianne)

Every day, I sing that song. I could not remember for how long, but I am sure that it took some days. Nag-eenjoy ako sa pagkanta kahit noon palang. Gumagaan kasi yung pakiramdam ko. Parang may narerelease sakin na bigla akong sumasaya pagkatapos kong kumanta. Hindi ko maalala kung ano yung tono ng boses ko noon at lalong hindi ko din maalala na kaya ko pala yung mga matataas. 

Anyway…

One day before the audition, I had to sung in front of our neighborhood. My family invited them to watch me and give a feedback. Kumanta ako pero hindi ko alam kung paano ko naitago yung takot. Kasi mahiyain ako. Sobra. Hindi ako nasanay na maging center of attention. Namumula nga ako palagi eh.

And that day came…

The day of the audition.

Nakapink gown ako noon. Yun yung gown na sinuot ko din nung minsan akong naisali sa Ms. United Nation sa school nung elementary. Tapos maiksi yung buhok ko. Ganoon kasi ang gustong gupit para sakin ng lola ko. Tapos ayan na… tinawag na ako. Kinakabahan ako. Kakanta na ako. Naeexcite ako tsaka natatakot. 

I was standing at the front when they called my aunt.Nag-usap sila pero hindi ko alam ano pinagusapan nila. Tapos sabi ng tita ko uuwi na daw kami. Ayun na… wala na akong maalala sa detayle.

Hindi ako nakakanta. Hindi ko nahawakan yung microphone. Hindi ko nakanta yung My Heart Will Go On ni Celine Dion. 

I really could not remember what just happened. Until now, I did not tried to ask my family about that.


We went back home. The days continue like the usual, but no more rehearsal happened again. No more any other audition attended. Nothing happened again after that time.

Baka nadisappoint nalang din sila tita. O kaya hindi nalang din nila alam saan pa ako pwede sumali. Basta wala na naging kasunod. Hindi na ako kumanta ulit ng tulad non.
Then, time has passed. Now, it’s the present.
Hindi na ganon kataas ang boses ko. Madalas ipit na. Napapakanta nalang ako kapag may KTV bonding with friends.

What if something positive happened from that day? Where am I now? What am I actually doing at this moment? Well… I don’t know. I have no ideas.

With my Nanay, Tatay, and cousins (Marianne & Mark)

Kung babasahin mo yung kwento ko, pinagarap ko palang maging singer. Oo, totoo yan. Pangarap ko yon nung bata ako. Hindi lang ganon ka-strong kasi bata pa ako. Yung sumusunod lang ako sa family ko pero hindi ko pa naiisip bakit ko siya ginagawa. Basta alam ko gusto ko siyang ginagawa. Gusto kong kumakanta.Every time I watch a show on tv like singing contest, or just an entertainment show, if I know the song I will surely sing. I think for now, hanggang dun nalang muna ako. 

I have no more plans to join any contest. I have not tried to enroll for a voice lesson. So, I was not trained anymore. Maybe, there could be other things that I could be suitable of. I have no ideas yet what could that be, but I am thinking something actually impossible to happen. Imposible siya kasi mahirap maabot. Wala din akong naiisip na paraan kung paano. Siguro hanggang pangarap nalang ‘yon. 

Then, I just stopped thinking for a while, and I pray.

“Paano kaya kung natuloy yon? Paano kaya kung may nangyari? Nasaan kaya ako ngayon?” 


(The End)

Curious ka ba sa boses ko? Okay sige. Dahil sa super fan ako ng Aldub ngayon, kinanta ko yung isang song na sobrang nagpapakilig sa lahat.
God gave me you.

sfdsfd
I uploaded the video in Facebook. I am just sharing here the link. You can watch it! 😊

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2 thoughts on “Currently Thinking | Vol. 1

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