How I Wish

When could I say that it is already late for that kind of wishes… Well… That is I really don’t know. Sometimes I am wondering why do I have to feel that now. It is actually something overwhelming that I could not even know how to make it come true. I do not have any idea how to go on that path, as I am totally clueless. There were times that I did not stop asking for that wish. Feeling ko masyado na akong makulit kaka-Sana. Still, I really can’t stop saying that one in my mind. I know you’re wondering what is that wish as I did not mention it from the start, and why I am so eager to make it happen. I can’t tell it right now. It’s not because I don’t want to, but that kind of wish is something that I just want to keep in myself. Gusto ko lang talaga ma-share yung sobrang kagustuhan ko na sana isang araw magkatotoo ‘yon. Maybe, I could share that one special wish when it happens. It is not yet the right time… even me, I don’t know when could that be.

During my long weekend, I had a chance to think for so many random things. One of those is something related to my future life. It’s actually part of my plans since I was in college. But, there were situations that changed it. It’s true that we really can’t tell what is going to happen tomorrow. From all the things that had happened to me from the time I set those plans up to now, I could say that it changed everything.

Before, I was just hoping to graduate from college, and to have a job in an international company. It actually happened. That’s where I am currently in. Of course, I am so happy and proud for that achievement. Even so, time will come that you’ll realize that there are other things you really want to do. Maybe, I was young during that time, so I just make my plan as basic and as achievable as I can. I know getting a job after college is something that everyone could achieve. It’s just a matter of time. Now, there’s something big that I always wish for. It’s big as there’s no easy way to start with; and I don’t have any idea how to make it happen. Sometimes I say, “Siguro kailangan ko lang maghintay…” As we all know, waiting could also means that nothing will happen. Yes, I am so pessimist this time. I don’t have any idea if I am even qualified in the first place. However, you know what, there is something/someone that always motivates me to continue hoping. Minsan iniisip ko nalang din na kapag hindi nangyari, hindi para sakin. Nakikita ko din kasi na posibleng hindi mangyari.

I don’t want to stop hoping, yet there is always a part of me saying that I should never ever expect. Like what I’ve said, that is something big. It might not happen.

I can still remember before that I always dreamed of it. I was wishing that one day, when I grow up, that door will open for me. Normal lang siguro mangarap ng ganon kataas kapag bata. The thing is, I am not at the right age to make those wishes come true, and even now… I have nothing to do with it. Siguro hanggang dito nalang. Maramdaman ko man yung pagkagusto na mangyari ‘yon, ano ba naman ang magagawa ko?

Hay Car…


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